Matthew Scheufele
W.A.R.P. The Reluctant Assassin
Eoin Colfer
Time travel, murder, action, and crappy writing, W.A.R.P. :The Reluctant Assassin has it all. This book begins with us meeting one of the main characters, Riley, a young and reluctant apprentice to a magician turned assassin, Albert Garrick. They approach a target, and Garrick tells Riley that the kill would go to him. Riley approaches the man, knife in hand, when the target, an old man, wakes up, and a field of green light appears around the man. Riley is unable to perform the kill, so Garrick forces his hand, killing the man. This causes a portal through time, to the year 2013, which Riley makes it through, but not Garrick. Then, the readers meet Agent Chevron Savano, a part of a failed F.B.I. Project to “combat the increasing problem of terrorist infiltration in high schools.” Chevron, or Chevie, was moved to London for P.R. reasons after publicly taking down a threat, causing the project to be exposed due to someone recording the incident. The main story begins when, after becoming acquainted with Riley, Garrick finds a way through the portal, which transforms him into a “Quantum Man”, allowing him to shift his physical form and heal his wounds, and the portal causes their target’s memories, which causes him to have intimate knowledge of the modern day, making him the most dangerous person on the planet, and he begins his pursuit of Chevie and Riley.
W.A.R.P.: The Reluctant Assassin by Eoin Colfer is a type of book that tells you that the author had a one-hit wonder and never surpassed it. It seems like it is trying too hard to stick to the original formula of the more successful book and does not stray far, making the book seem like a parent living through their child vicariously, but in literature form. Eoin Colfer likely gave into pressure from editors to make another book with the success of Artemis Fowl, which just didn’t happen. I originally picked this book because of the interesting concept presented on the back cover, and after reading the first few pages, it seemed good. Boy was I wrong. This book confirmed my disbelief in any god, because if there was a god they would not allow for this to exist. Compared to Colfer’s most popular book, Artemis Fowl, reading W.A.R.P. is like watching an old cartoon from your childhood that doesn’t hold up, or like when I saw Thor: The Dark World on an airplane, only to rewatch it on the ground to realize that it wasn’t any good.
For one, the book tries to use the trope of “Hyper-Advanced technology that is from many years in the past” which works well in many scenarios, but this book does not handle it well. When the technology is introduced, it is implied that it will stay important throughout the book, but early in the book, it is mostly destroyed. Then they shift the plot focus a couple of times within the first few chapters, establishing a shaky foundation for the rest of the story. There was very little backstory given in the beginning, something that would be beneficial for the reader to know, as there are many parts where there isn’t enough context for the story to make sense.
The book also tries too hard to seem self-aware; for example, he has one character tell Chevie that he “read [her] file. Most informative. Graduated top of your special group. Record test scores in spite of your age. Problem with authority figures, blah blah blah, so movie stereotype” (which he is right in saying.) If a writer is self-aware enough to point out problems with his book, he should be self-aware enough to change them- the fact that this was not fixed is something that truly bothers me. Colfer is aware of the problems, but leaves them in, which can be interpreted as being for comedic effect, but to me, it screams laziness.
One of the few things that I enjoy about this book is the villain, Albert Garrick, a magician-turned-assassin who lusts for power, especially actual, real magic. This desire is fulfilled in a way when he merges with Doctor Charles Smart, the inventor of the W.A.R.P. Pods, while trying to come to the future, and he gains all of his memories and a few new abilities, such as shapeshifting and self-healing. From how he speaks of him, it is clear that Riley sees Garrick as a man who knows no obstacles, which is admirable in a villain. When Chevie tells Riley that there is no way in heaven that Garrick would be able to get to Riley, he says “No way in heaven, but perhaps a way in hell”, which is an extremely powerful line.
W.A.R.P. : The Reluctant Assassin, is a lackluster book. I would recommend it to people aren’t as picky about the issues that I have with it. I wouldn’t necessarily call it a bad book, just disappointing, as I have read other books by the same author, and they were literary works of art. The book is a far shot from Colfer’s usual style, which usually has a large climax, many clever schemes, and cool gadgets. Colfer does not live up to his reputation with this novel. While I have only read the first few chapters, the book does not seem set up in a way to allow the errors to be corrected.
W.A.R.P. The Reluctant Assassin
Eoin Colfer
Time travel, murder, action, and crappy writing, W.A.R.P. :The Reluctant Assassin has it all. This book begins with us meeting one of the main characters, Riley, a young and reluctant apprentice to a magician turned assassin, Albert Garrick. They approach a target, and Garrick tells Riley that the kill would go to him. Riley approaches the man, knife in hand, when the target, an old man, wakes up, and a field of green light appears around the man. Riley is unable to perform the kill, so Garrick forces his hand, killing the man. This causes a portal through time, to the year 2013, which Riley makes it through, but not Garrick. Then, the readers meet Agent Chevron Savano, a part of a failed F.B.I. Project to “combat the increasing problem of terrorist infiltration in high schools.” Chevron, or Chevie, was moved to London for P.R. reasons after publicly taking down a threat, causing the project to be exposed due to someone recording the incident. The main story begins when, after becoming acquainted with Riley, Garrick finds a way through the portal, which transforms him into a “Quantum Man”, allowing him to shift his physical form and heal his wounds, and the portal causes their target’s memories, which causes him to have intimate knowledge of the modern day, making him the most dangerous person on the planet, and he begins his pursuit of Chevie and Riley.
W.A.R.P.: The Reluctant Assassin by Eoin Colfer is a type of book that tells you that the author had a one-hit wonder and never surpassed it. It seems like it is trying too hard to stick to the original formula of the more successful book and does not stray far, making the book seem like a parent living through their child vicariously, but in literature form. Eoin Colfer likely gave into pressure from editors to make another book with the success of Artemis Fowl, which just didn’t happen. I originally picked this book because of the interesting concept presented on the back cover, and after reading the first few pages, it seemed good. Boy was I wrong. This book confirmed my disbelief in any god, because if there was a god they would not allow for this to exist. Compared to Colfer’s most popular book, Artemis Fowl, reading W.A.R.P. is like watching an old cartoon from your childhood that doesn’t hold up, or like when I saw Thor: The Dark World on an airplane, only to rewatch it on the ground to realize that it wasn’t any good.
For one, the book tries to use the trope of “Hyper-Advanced technology that is from many years in the past” which works well in many scenarios, but this book does not handle it well. When the technology is introduced, it is implied that it will stay important throughout the book, but early in the book, it is mostly destroyed. Then they shift the plot focus a couple of times within the first few chapters, establishing a shaky foundation for the rest of the story. There was very little backstory given in the beginning, something that would be beneficial for the reader to know, as there are many parts where there isn’t enough context for the story to make sense.
The book also tries too hard to seem self-aware; for example, he has one character tell Chevie that he “read [her] file. Most informative. Graduated top of your special group. Record test scores in spite of your age. Problem with authority figures, blah blah blah, so movie stereotype” (which he is right in saying.) If a writer is self-aware enough to point out problems with his book, he should be self-aware enough to change them- the fact that this was not fixed is something that truly bothers me. Colfer is aware of the problems, but leaves them in, which can be interpreted as being for comedic effect, but to me, it screams laziness.
One of the few things that I enjoy about this book is the villain, Albert Garrick, a magician-turned-assassin who lusts for power, especially actual, real magic. This desire is fulfilled in a way when he merges with Doctor Charles Smart, the inventor of the W.A.R.P. Pods, while trying to come to the future, and he gains all of his memories and a few new abilities, such as shapeshifting and self-healing. From how he speaks of him, it is clear that Riley sees Garrick as a man who knows no obstacles, which is admirable in a villain. When Chevie tells Riley that there is no way in heaven that Garrick would be able to get to Riley, he says “No way in heaven, but perhaps a way in hell”, which is an extremely powerful line.
W.A.R.P. : The Reluctant Assassin, is a lackluster book. I would recommend it to people aren’t as picky about the issues that I have with it. I wouldn’t necessarily call it a bad book, just disappointing, as I have read other books by the same author, and they were literary works of art. The book is a far shot from Colfer’s usual style, which usually has a large climax, many clever schemes, and cool gadgets. Colfer does not live up to his reputation with this novel. While I have only read the first few chapters, the book does not seem set up in a way to allow the errors to be corrected.
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